I love celebrating Camden's birthday, and thinking about the day he was born. All of my memories of being pregnant with him, and having him, and him being a baby are so vivid. He was the first. There were no distractions, and nothing as important as my baby. He was high needs and high energy. But my word he was so, so cute. His long eye lashes and big blue eyes with the mischieveous glint. We adored him. Blake and I, just 20 and 21, would fight over him sometimes...who got to hold him, who got to buckle him in his car seat, who got to play with him while the other one cooked or cleaned. He was our world, and he brought us even closer. This shared little person that exhausted us and enchanted us.
He has calmed waaayyyy down since then "gloria a Dios". He is, even what I would consider, laid back. He stays calm in tense situations and rarely raises his voice. He is rational and consistent. He isn't moody. He can make split second decisions in chaos, and almost every time they are the perfect decisions. He doesn't get all bent out of shape when someone corrects him, and doesn't take things personally or get embarrassed easily. He got these things from his dad. They are assets.
He is also an active listener. He is good at helping people process things. If I want to talk something out and if it's something appropriate for a 14 year old boy, I'm learning he is a good person to go to. He brings up good points. He is nonjudgmental and seeks to understand. He enjoys talking about abstract things, goals, what ifs, the deeper things below the surface, and he thinks the "why" behind something is just as important as the something. He got these things from me. They are assets.
I look forward to what else the next several years brings to the surface in him. His uniqueness. His traits that are completely his own that make us say, "Wow! Where did he get that wisdom? That stubbornness. Those ideas. Those opinions." I'm bracing myself for the reality that he is going to surprise us. To mystify us. To freak us out. I want to be ready to be surprised because I want to be prepared to cheer on his uniqueness. I want to be willing to support his ideas, even if they aren't my preference. I want to be quick to listen to his opinions and slow to squelch his stubbornness.
Camden has been in a hard season. He doesn't love living in Magdalena. He is figuring out who he is, in a culture that he thinks is a lot of what he is not. He has to fight for joy. Fight for peace. Fight for a good attitude. But he is fighting. He is learning persistence. He is learning acceptance. He is learning to make the best of a situation that he did not choose. These things he is has to learn himself. And although part of me wishes I could just make it easy for him, I know in my heart....these lessons he is learning....They are assets.
No comments:
Post a Comment