Camden is 14

I have a little more pressure this year since Camden is on Facebook. He will be able to read this. :)

I love celebrating Camden's birthday, and thinking about the day he was born. All of my memories of being pregnant with him, and having him, and him being a baby are so vivid. He was the first. There were no distractions, and nothing as important as my baby. He was high needs and high energy. But my word he was so, so cute. His long eye lashes and big blue eyes with the mischieveous glint. We adored him. Blake and I, just 20 and 21, would fight over him sometimes...who got to hold him, who got to buckle him in his car seat, who got to play with him while the other one cooked or cleaned. He was our world, and he brought us even closer. This shared little person that exhausted us and enchanted us. 

He has calmed waaayyyy down since then "gloria a Dios". He is, even what I would consider, laid back. He stays calm in tense situations and rarely raises his voice. He is rational and consistent. He isn't moody. He can make split second decisions in chaos, and almost every time they are the perfect decisions. He doesn't get all bent out of shape when someone corrects him, and doesn't take things personally or get embarrassed easily. He got these things from his dad. They are assets. 

He is also an active listener. He is good at helping people process things. If I want to talk something out and if it's something appropriate for a 14 year old boy, I'm learning he is a good person to go to. He brings up good points. He is nonjudgmental and seeks to understand. He enjoys talking about abstract things, goals, what ifs, the deeper things below the surface, and he thinks the "why" behind something is just as important as the something. He got these things from me. They are assets. 

I look forward to what else the next several years brings to the surface in him. His uniqueness. His traits that are completely his own that make us say, "Wow! Where did he get that wisdom? That stubbornness. Those ideas. Those opinions." I'm bracing myself for the reality that he is going to surprise us. To mystify us. To freak us out. I want to be ready to be surprised because I want to be prepared to cheer on his uniqueness. I want to be willing to support his ideas, even if they aren't my preference. I want to be quick to listen to his opinions and slow to squelch his stubbornness. 

Camden has been in a hard season. He doesn't love living in Magdalena. He is figuring out who he is, in a culture that he thinks is a lot of what he is not. He has to fight for joy. Fight for peace. Fight for a good attitude. But he is fighting. He is learning persistence. He is learning acceptance. He is learning to make the best of a situation that he did not choose. These things he is has to learn himself. And although part of me wishes I could just make it easy for him, I know in my heart....these lessons he is learning....They are assets. 

Destiny Hope is 12

Twelve years old means one more year that I can say I have a little girl. Next year she will be a teenager. She can't wait. I remember that so well. I would have skipped twelve if I could have, and just went right on to the glorious age of thirteen. But I'm anticipating good things for Hope's twelfth year. I for sure don't want her to skip it. I've been looking forward to it all year. The age eleven is a challenging one. Or at least it has been that way with my two that have gone through it so far. I feel pretty excited that we conquered it twice. It feels like an accomplishment for the whole family. This was a crazy year for all of us; Hope included.

She and I lived just over four months in the States while we were in the process of adopting Grayson. That was crazy. Homeschooling while having two babies was crazy. Transitioning to video school which almost doubled our school hours each day was crazy! Being stuck between little girl and teenager is crazy. Being half North American and half Guatemalan is crazy. But all in all, Hope handled crazy pretty well. She had her moments...many of them (as did I), but she has an amazing ability to bounce back quickly. To forgive quickly. To get her happy back quickly. To laugh quickly. To try again quickly. I admire that about her. I'm not near as good at that.

I thought in this year's blog for her I would share a little enlightenment I had in the past couple of months that has and will continue to benefit our relationship. Since moving to Magdalena last summer, Hope has adapted to the culture here in an incredible way. Her Spanish went from almost nothing to being able to comfortably communicate. Her accent (or lack of one depending on how you look at it) is to die for. And she is considered to be a faithful member of the local evangelical church here. She goes to every service that she can...which is usually three evenings a week. She has many friends here now, but her best friend is the girl next door. They are as close as sisters. However, I have to admit that I began wrestling with this friendship. I didn't like that Hope seemed like a different person when she was with all of her local friends here, but with her best friend the time was often spent in our home. This made it very easy for me to observe her. She talked differently, laughed differently, and had different mannerisms. This seemed wrong to me. We should be who we are no matter who we are with, right? I found myself irritated when they were together, and I hated that.

Then a couple of months ago I was watching a video of two guys that each were fluent in multiple languages. They were having a conversation and would switch back and forth effortlessly between the languages. The whole conversation had English subtitles, however, so I was able to follow along. In this conversation the two guys said that the key to becoming fluent in another language is to realize that you have to become a different person with each language. You have to "pretend" that you are a native speaker. You have to mimic the personality of the language: the accent, the mannerisms, the inflections, the facial movements and expressions. You have to do your best to think and behave as if you were born in the culture of the language you are speaking. As I listened to them explain this, I was suddenly struck by the fact that this is what Hope has done. This is what Hope is doing.

This is why she seems different with her Magdalenean/Spanish speaking friends. This is why she has learned the language and fits in so well in this "foreign" culture, and has done it in just over a year (and minus four months in the states!). She has had the natural wisdom to know that she has to adapt if she is going to have real relationships, if she is going to be truly accepted, and if she is going to sincerely enjoy these new people in her life. She has put in the hard work to make this place HER world. She isn't going to be a visitor here or an outsider. She isn't going to "get by" or put on a front. She is going to belong, and she is going to do it with all of her heart. And now that I have a new perspective, I REALLY think she is stinkin' cool. She has a gift, and I pray that she uses it for God's glory for the rest of her life.

Destiny Hope is a fireball. She's passionate and opinionated and you never have to wonder what she is thinking. She loves hanging out with her friends here, and skyping her friend Keely in the States. She likes dressing fancy and can't wait to wear make-up. She likes singing, dancing, playing games on her iPad, and cycles through a different hobby obsession every few months. She can do a little bit of everything. As I've said every year, she is so different from me. That can be frustrating from time to time, but normally I'm just inspired by her and a little bit in awe of who she is. I pray that I'm the mom that she needs in the 6 years I have left to raise her.

I pray that I help her understand what, in life, is most important. I pray that I help her continue to learn how to handle her fiery/sassy personality with maturity, without ever making her feel like she needs to squelch it completely. I have no doubt that it's that fiery/sassiness that will cause her to have great influence wherever she goes. And it will also be what continues to make me stand back and say, "Is she really mine?" and "Please, Jesus, can I be a little more like her?" Happy Birthday Hope. I love you super much!