Fifteen sounds waaayyyyy older than fourteen, right?!! He also started high school last week which sounds waaayyyy older than middle school. I am excited for what the next four years hold. I am excited that he's in a school that he loves. I am excited that he's surrounded by a group of really great kids at school and in our neighborhood. I am excited that his friends are from the U.S., from Canada, from Korea, from Sudan, and from Guatemala. I am excited that he started playing competitive sports again this week. I am excited that he has coaches and teachers and pastors that know him by name and care for him academically, socially, emotionally, and spiritually. I know life won't always be easy, but I am so grateful for the love and strength that is all around him.
A few days ago, on Hope's thirteenth birthday we asked Camden if he had any advice for her as she began her teenage years. Without hesitation he said, "Like everyone." Her response: "But people irritate me." He shrugged and kept eating his pizza...his medium size pizza that he ate almost entirely on his own, I might add. It wasn't until later that I decided that "like everyone" sounded like the 15 year old translation for the second greatest commandment. The next Sunday at church our associate pastor preached on how love is never wasted on anyone. On the way home Camden said, "Nate just gave the church the same advice I gave Hope." And I see that in his life. He doesn't speak badly about people and he is kind and respectful to people of all ages. I'm thankful that this isn't something that is just natural to him, but proven by the fact that it was his advice to his sister, it's an intentional decision on his part.
So, I think he's in a pretty good place, but I also think he's totally still a normal 15 year old male.... I have to choose my battles, and try not to make mountains out of mole hills.... But it's hard sometimes... Like last Sunday when we were walking down the street, and he tripped or ran into something...who knows, and out of his mouth came some strange noise... "What was that?" I asked. "I cussed in German," he replied.
And I asked myself, "Do I lecture about how cussing in German is no better than cussing in English? Or do I tell him I'm impressed he's working on a third language?"
It's a quandary, I tell ya....
He is now at the age that Blake and I were when we started a relationship. Crazy!! I know chances are high that he hasn't met his forever girl yet, but I'm nice to all the girls around here close to his age just in case. 😃 I feel like I have prepared for these last four years. Since he was little bitty, I've been pretty future focused with him. I was always on guard not to let him stay "my baby" in my mind. I've been intentional to remind myself that I WILL have to let him go. I never wanted people to wonder if I was more in love with my son than I was with my husband, because we all know how creepy that is... So this is it... the last stretch...four more years. At the beach, recently, I was staring out at the waves, asking God to speak to my heart. It's kind of thing with us when I'm at the beach. I sit and listen and He speaks. So far, we're batting a hundred. But this time I wasn't hearing anything. I sat and sat and listened and listened. Then I finally spoke to Him. I said, "I have never seen the ocean in Guatemala this calm." And then I felt three words form in my mind and heart, Consistency. Routine. Foundation. These words made up our lives his first six years. My life revolved around my little ones, and making sure life was consistent for them, and that I gave them a foundation of security. When I felt those words form in my heart, I knew he had been speaking to me through the unusual calmness of the ocean. Go back to those values. These last four years be consistent, have a routine focused around Camden (and his siblings), give him a foundation of security. Those baby years are important, but it's these last four years he will remember. So, Camden, on your fifteenth birthday I want you to know that even though our life is much busier than when you were little, you and your brothers and sister are still my most important job. You matter deeply to me. I want more than anything for us to finish well. I want you to remember your home being one of laughter, deep conversations, and where growth was encouraged and mistakes were forgiven. I want to do what I can to make these next four years your best years yet.
Happy Birthday, Camden. I am so thankful to be your mom!